2.16.13

Cattle Decap: When Aaron asked if I was interested in going to a cattle decapitation show the other night, I thought he meant we would be attending the beheading of a cow. It's not like I would seek something like that out, like it would occur to me pleasantly before falling asleep ("Ah, cattle decapitation. I've got to write that down"). But it could be an interesting experience, like sitting in on an execution or sacrificing a lamb. Like maybe the big bovine (whose name I assumed to be Bertha, as I trust all cows are called) is getting old and past its prime, or is sick or something. I mean, they shoot horses, don't they? And if someone is going to put that out there, sure. Let's go to a farm in the middle of the night, music blaring, cigarettes burning; let's socialize in Spanish boots and leather pants with coked-up skinheads. We can leave before the beheading! I immediately wrote him back, "YES. Is that even a question?"

 "Yes, that's why I asked."

 "I guess what I asked was not a question."

Later on, I realized he was talking about a metal band--of vegetarians--and not about someplace where people would be decapitating cows.

That is fine, too.

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